Self-Love Rituals
By Olivia Dzumaga
When a woman creates a self love ritual in honor of her growth and progress to become the person she is today, she reclaims her power. The ritual unites us back to the truth that each of us is a vibrant, sensual goddess that is meant to feel good in her body. This is a radical notion because the majority of many women’s lives are spent disliking aspects of their body or having low self-esteem. Pleasure is typically not a safe emotion in the female body. When we train our bodies to relax in the presence of pleasure, we can embody authenticity.
What is self-love?
The Brain & Behavior Research Foundation defines it as “Self-love is a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological and spiritual growth. Self-love means having a high regard for your own well-being and happiness. Self-love means taking care of your own needs and not sacrificing your well-being to please others.” For those who fly, often you hear you must put your oxygen mask on before assisting others. Love is similar in this regard. If you go out of your way to bend at another’s will because it consistently benefits him or her, it is time to stop that. Learning to respect your personal boundaries is the foundation of self-love. It may feel uncomfortable at first but ‘no’ is your best friend. The more we become comfortable sharing a real ‘yes’ and honoring a true ‘no,’ the safer it will feel to trust our bodies. Wise Womb takes the definition one step further by stating self-love is accepting the positive and negative traits in oneself. We all have characteristics of our personality that we are improving. It is best to remain curious about who we are and continually integrate our shadows.
The Beauty Industry Affects Us
Self-love is a ritual of standing up for oneself. The beauty industry salivates over our dislike of our self-image. Last summer in 2024, the beauty industry made $570 billion in revenue worldwide according to Forbes. Most of these products and services, if we had to guess, were not in fact gua shas and FaceGym studios. Despite the public becoming more knowledgeable about toxins present in beauty products, companies still have a strong grip over women’s bodies. For example, skin lightening creams are extremely harmful to the skin and can cause higher risk of cancer, organ damage, and adversely affect the nervous system. On the other hand, tanning beds can lead to skin cancer, damage your eyes and immune system. As long as we are kept unsatisfied with the tone of our skin, corporations make money and people stay unhealthy. This applies to essentially any and every part of a woman. We get our eyebrows shaped, arm, leg, and armpit hair removed, tummies tucked, vulvas sugar waxed or lasered, nails painted, hair colored and treated, upper lip waxed, lips filled, lashes extended, nose done, eyelids and breasts lifted, fat removal from our cheeks, butts implanted, the list can continue on.
Celebrity Influence
Celebrities have a harmful impact on young girls because as they grow up, certain beauty standards are emphasized which can lead to harmful self-image if a girl looks different than the current trend. The 90s are a perfect example; the supermodels were extremely thin, which became the trend or ‘status symbol’ for men. If we fast forward to today, these same supermodels are looked down upon in mainstream media. The more voluptuous, fuller woman like Ashley Graham became the new ‘it’ look. Both trends are damaging to our society of women because there should be no one golden standard. Women are different. Nowadays men want a woman with a booty to grab onto, which is healthier from a fertility standpoint. Women are meant to have fat on their bodies for reproductive health purposes and need a higher percentage of fat to muscle ratio than men to be in optimal health.
This is a reminder that conducting self-love rituals helps us to fall in love with ourselves and break the system by changing where our consumer dollars go. The more face yoga we do, the more prevention against wrinkles we get. Smiling, being gentle and kind to ourselves and our body is the true fountain of youth.
Fundamentals to Self-Love Ritual
Rose is a powerful addition to any self-love ritual because it is the highest vibration in the flower kingdom, vibrating at 320 Megahertz. A representation such as fresh rose petals or dried buds, rosewater, rose oil, rose powder, or even an image or drawing of a rose can be placed on your altar. These flowers have long had an association with femininity and red ones specifically for eternal love. Incorporate the five elements (Air, Water, Earth, Fire, Spirit) as a way to honor Earth and respect the ancestors of the land you are on. Native American, Chinese, and other cultures each have a connection to these pillars that make up life. These are suggestions for each: Rock or pile of dirt (Earth), Feather or incense (Air), Shell or bowl of water (Water), Candle or red chili flakes (Fire), Crystal or Token (Spirit). Before beginning a ritual, take time to notice if you are mentally present with yourself. Take three deep inhales through the nose and exhales through your mouth to come into this moment. On each breath, become aware first of yourself, second of your body, and last with your surroundings. You can stay silent and still for a moment to ground your energy into the now. With a clear mind, set an intention for your practice. Is it to accept your body with its imperfections? Feel more love towards yourself? Explore your body?
Be intentional about your attire for this ritual process. If Aphrodite invited you to a party, what would you wear? This is a party in honor of you. Dress up! It feels good to check yourself out in the mirror in a beautiful dress or outfit. Why not start your self-love ritual from a high vibe place?
Set the stage with your altar, soften the lighting, and set the mood. Play some chill tunes in the background and light some incense to naturally begin to breathe deeply. Prepare a spread of something to nibble on after you are complete. After we connect to our Higher Self, it is important to connect with the Earthly realm through food or drink because it grounds us. This could include some fruit, nuts, and dark chocolate as well as an elixir of sparkling water and splash of juice or tincture. Consider using a beautiful plate and chalice because it feels fun to eat off china and drink from crystal!
My Love Letter
Grab stationary, an envelope, pens, and stickers.
Begin by taking a few breaths and taking a moment to place yourself in the shoes of your biggest advocate...maybe that is your mom, sister, best friend, coach, therapist, whoever. Start to see their support, their love for you, as a light growing bigger and bigger until it envelopes you. Bask in their love and take on their perspective of championing for you. Let this be an intuitive process and the more you write, the more you will surprise yourself, as thoughts begin flowing from mind to pen to paper. You can focus on your accomplishments, your personal growth, or body parts that you love. Or you could write from the perspective of your future self and congratulate yourself in the past tense on everything you have done. Once you are done you can seal the letter with a future date on it and create a ritual around the opening in a few months or years or you can keep it in a safe place where you can easily re-read it for an instant mood boost. From you to you, with love.
Dear Charlotte,
I am so proud of you for writing that book and self-publishing it! It got picked up by Wise Womb’s Magazine and led to a book tour around the country. You are amazing, girl. I knew you could find a career that you loved. Now look at you working on your dance studio project!
I noticed my hips in the mirror the other day and wowza I look fine. My skin is clear and glowing!! Remember when you took yourself out to dinner and felt grateful to the point that you were moved to tears? You deserve to feel that good. Every day. You have been through so much with heartache and health recovery that it is time for you to shine unapologetically.
I believe in you. I trust myself to succeed. You got this!
With love,
Charlotte
Morning Dance Party (MDP)
Start your day with a vibe! This self-love ritual ensures you get up on the right side of the bed each time. Play your song, the one you can’t help but groove to and blast it. Let your arms go above your head and start moving your hips from side to side. Take inspiration from Cameron Diaz as Natalie in Charlie’s Angels. Watch the clip for the essence of moving and spreading joy in your aura. Natalie's Morning Routine
Olivia, one of Wise Womb's co-founders, often did this with her college friends. They’d swap playlists, and some mornings, she’d wake up to a text with a link to that day’s song. Even on days when she felt blue, that simple reminder brought a smile to her face and got her moving to the music. This is a super powerful ritual and should not be underestimated! MDPs across the country with girls sharing their pick of the day with their friends. It cements a good day before you even have one.
For the full self-love rituals including
Slaying in Your Own Skin
Skin Glow
Belly Love Rub
Sensory Awakening Ritual
Mirror Muse
And a powerful self-love meditation led by Julie, co-founder of Wise Womb, please register for the Wise Womb Library and watch the replay of the class.